Deeper Still

I did better this year while at the beach on vacation! I didn’t get a bad sunburn!  I was determined not to let this happen, and while I don’t care for the feeling of sunscreen…at all… the spray is invigorating! I just didn’t want the feeling anymore of lying in bed, covered in aloe, trying to roll over and being stuck to the sheets! Having red hair and green eyes for my entire life has been fun and different, but the sun loves that combination, so I’ve got to continue to learn the balance between getting a healthy sun-kissed glow and not a ridiculous sunburn!

You know I love water, my friend. It teaches me so much about myself…about God.

On this most recent seaside trip, I was just beyond the first sandbar, in the shallow area hanging out in the refreshing ocean. The waves were breaking fast as the white caps dove into the sand. Even in the shallow water where I was standing, the waves were trying to knock me down, and were doing a good job of it, until I swam out to where the waves were in deeper water, and I could jump into their sprays.

I’ve been missing God, so time away from home and schedules was perfect in timing. My time with Him has been shrinking, and the impact has been showing up in my lack of dedication to eating and in my fight against the sadness resulting from chemical imbalance/ depression…and life. When I even attempt to fight my thoughts and struggles with this different, post-treatment body, without God… it’s a huge fail.

Who I am to Christ Is where the truth about me resides, but when I look in the mirror, failing to remember who I am to Him, and see a different body since gaining nutrition to live, I crumble. I don’t look like me or feel like me. But when I pick up God’s Word, He reacquaints me with who He is and I get a bit closer to trusting that I’m okay in this new body. When I don’t eat, my mind becomes undernourished so quickly, and I can’t begin to remember and accept Truth.

Yes, I can choose where I stand and “hang out” in life. I can stand in the “shallow” area and get pretty beat up and pushed around by the “fast breaking” lies the enemy uses to knock me down.  I have a tendency to live there a lot and become okay with it and with the negative self-talk screaming I’m going to get bigger and bigger with each bite.  Sadness can wash over me as I become convinced, in my depressed mind, that I’m not making a difference here on earth.  But when I go out to the deeper water, it’s there that I can jump into the waves and enjoy God’s love and mercy and hope sweeping over me.

Sitting here in my office back at home, all I have to do is close my eyes, and I can be back in the water passed those shallow waves breaking at my knees causing me to fall.  If I stay with that mental image, walk out a bit deeper to where the waves are higher, it is there that I find peace and rejuvenation. The water covers me from head to toe and as I see a wave coming, I am prepared just as God’s Word…God’s truth…God’s provision for my life…God’s healing…cover me.  

From where I sat on the beach, in my chair under the umbrella, sipping my water (diet Coke), the shallow water looked manageable, and I tried to enjoy it.  But when I saw the deeper waves, I saw a better way and moved!

May I do the same in my relationship with God! May I be the recipient of what he has for me…for us! I’m sorry that I haven’t been spending the time with God which fosters growth! But I’m so very thankful that I miss him when I don’t!  It helps me desire to stop being pushed around and to go deeper!

Let’s not settle for hanging out where we cannot be deeper with Jesus.  He is our rescuer and present help in times of trouble. He has a plan for you and for me which anticipates that we spend time with Him, growing closer to him, relishing in the next wave of refreshment.  And if you have been like me, letting yourself be beat up by the enemy yet still not moving to where God would have you…move. He is not a shallow God who doesn’t get where you are in your walk with him or in your life.  He knows our struggles and the things which seek to cripple us.

He is the only One who has words to penetrate our hearts and wash over us, healing our souls, our minds, and our bodies.

No matter what you have gone through or what you are currently struggling with, please don’t give up, but rather, make your “move” and check this out…  ”Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will no sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy one of Israel, your Savior…”  Isaiah 43.1-3

The very one who commands the oceans and the waves is the one who created us to move to Him and go deeper still.

Love to you,