Episode #14: Resilience - Navigating the Ups and Downs of Mental Illness
Hi, friends!
Wow! We sure have missed sharing with you through our weekly Speak Out Loud podcast, but that’s about to change! Season 2 is ready to go and so are we!
REALITY
Whether we’ve met or not, you are a gift to us! God uses our suffering to be able to say that we really do understand what you are going through when mental illness is involved. We have lived it with my difficult mind for 30 years now. Why do I say, “we?” Although I’m the one with anorexia, manic depression, self harm tendencies, and anxiety, I have not been alone on this path. Mental illness affects all who are involved in my life. It affects my close community even more. But mostly? It affects me being here or not.
Mental illness can be the “taboo” topic. The “elephant in the room.” But if there’s anything I’ve learned/we’ve learned…keeping silent about my struggle is so lonely that it can be paralyzing. Sometimes we can barely breathe. But this is only one of the main reasons we do talk about it.
We’ve been the ones on the bathroom floor before I’ve harmed myself or after. We’ve been the ones who have watched God raise 2 precious girls in the midst of the bomb of anorexia and deep depression going off time and time again, and we are the ones who have found that the only way to experience true hope in the middle of these storms, is to ask God to usher in His help, and His power. To carry us when we can’t see the hand in front of our faces much less the next step to dare take.
While we had a great summer in most aspects (time with our AMAZING girls!!!), my mind was absolutely relentless. In Episode 1 of Season 2 (linked below), we share the reality of our situation when I get overwhelmed to the point of not knowing how to live with such a black and white screaming mind. With mental illness, when you go on vacation, that doesn’t mean your mind does. I got too low emotionally and Doug stayed close, as did local family and friends and doctors. Living shut down is no way to live. But God…God is faithful and sovereign and pulling me through…us through.
QUESTIONS
You may wonder what I could possibly want so that I’ll just “be happy” when I have beyond what I could ever dream or imagine. Trust me, when I don’t let God infiltrate my soul, guilt runs deep into the chasm of my mind through that aspect of depression.
Maybe you feel that if I had more faith, I wouldn’t struggle with mental illness to this degree or at all. Without God at the helm of my life and the life of our family with our desire to live and serve him, I would’ve taken my life over that misunderstanding long ago.
HOPE
Our hearts through all things Speak Out Loud – my book, speaking opportunities, audiobook (coming in literally weeks), our podcast, and blogs, are to offer you the same grace in your life…your hurts…your life-defining mistakes. Yes, everyone struggles with something, but let’s not be dismissive. Let’s live life in community. We care about you enough to know this…that God cares about you even more!
Please join our journey by following all that Speak Out Loud offers and let’s share hope!
Love to you!
-Stacee