Seven
Photo by "Photographed by: Makenzie"
Seven. I can’t believe it’s already been 7 years since I came home from treatment before beginning the journey…the fight for my life…from an eating disorder., more specifically, anorexia. Then, please let me contradict myself. It feels like so much longer that I was away.
Almost like another lifetime ago.
I was terrified to go and gain nutrition, and I was scared to come home and continue the battle to keep the nutrition I had worked so very relentlessly to put on. I looked different because I was malnourished going into the hospital. I had to change…I needed to get far enough along to put myself back into the life I had been merely a shell in. To put myself back in photographs. To take up space in a chair…in a room…in life.
I had gone silent. But only in my speaking out loud.
I had become weak. But only in my bones and muscles.
Treatment isn’t for wimps. Change of any type isn’t either! It takes grit and will and my Higher Power…my Jesus. Change Is life-altering! But in return, isn’t the goal for it to be life giving?
Start today. Make hard decisions with God’s help to be a part of life. To not isolate, but share. To not give up, but dive in.
One of the main reasons I’m so very thankful I am still alive is because I have a story to share that keeps unfolding. My mind screams starve…my Jesus says enjoy. My mind literally yells to die. God says live! You won't want to miss out on today! One day at a time. What help do you need to receive to rejoin life?
Please just start.
I suffer greatly around food. I struggle with my loud-screaming mind. I’m no role model. But I’m trying to do what it takes to be here. Won’t you please try with me?
One. It’s the number I had to start with in order to be here. One is a great number. It’s the number of champions. Before you know it, with fight and grit, support, grace, mercy, and GOD…you’ll be at 7. Please trust me on this…and more importantly… trust God with your life.
Wow, seven! Thank you to my tribe that God has around me that helps me so very often. You are my cheerleaders sent to stand in the gap for me when I’m beyond exhausted. Let’s continue to celebrate all of the days we can. As you each know, the journey is far from over. It is still full of challenges and struggles. Please keep going down this path with me.
Love to you – your fellow warrior
- Stacee